To be or not to be: the suicide question
DISCLAIMER: Since suicide is illegal in the USA (I don’t know about other countries), please note that I am in no way, shape or form condoning or encouraging suicide. I’d hate for you to kill yourself and then be arrested for murder! So, don’t do it! OK?! Fortunately, free speech (a quaint, mostly outdated principle) means we ARE allowed to discuss controversial topics. <End disclaimer>
If you subscribe to slow collapse a la John Michael Greer or James Kunstler, then this may not apply to you. For me, though, I think at some point the power grid will collapse and won’t be resurrected. And I believe that time is coming faster than most of us can imagine. At that point, homesteaders and prepper types will do better for a while, until climate change makes agriculture impossible. Once the grid is down for good, I am done. I don’t see the point of trying to survive as long as possible until homo sapiens (and most of life) is extinct. Living in a Mad Max world has ZERO appeal to me. I am - as a dear friend has phrased it – a pampered lap dog of civilization. Also, I don’t have young kids or young grandkids which makes it a lot easier for me to face reality.
So this post is less about “whether” but “how.
In my years as a doomer I have had quite a few conversations about suicide and have found a lot of interest in the best method. This varies from person to person of course, depending on one’s temperament and one’s situation (who you live with, etc.). So, I was happy to discover the charcoal grill method which has been used successfully by many people. Apparently, it is especially popular in Asia. A friend of a friend’s elderly neighbor (in the US) successfully exited using a grill in her bathroom to avoid living her decline in a nursing home.
So that is my plan, if I am lucky enough to do it when the time comes. No fancy grill needed. El cheapo is fine. You know how they say: DO NOT OPERATE INSIDE? That’s because the carbon monoxide (CO) they emit is TOXIC and FATAL. About 15 minutes will do the trick, maybe a little headache. The reason people die accidentally from CO is because it’s odorless. Like with a leaky furnace.
Make sure to disable any carbon monoxide monitors if you have any. Preheat outside if you want to skip the smoky part, then bring into a bedroom or bathroom. No need to seal under door. One can have a few drinks or sleeping pills prior to ease the process but it’s obviously not necessary, as many people have died accidentally from CO exposure. I hope to have my human and animal family members with me in the bedroom.
I’d be interested to hear what others are thinking on this topic.
Hopefully this is safe to duscuss. But yes, I have been thinking I dont want to die from overheating and starvation. I was thinking run out and find some drug dealer with fetanyl and take that, but as you mentioned, my husband says,we will just bring the generator inside! Im not so sure I can get excited abut dying of C02 poisoning, what if you fail? Anyways my 2nd fear is with my luck I will wait too long to do it and suffer, or do it before it is necessary. Im 55 and still have a desire to live and worry that even if we have 30 years, I will be in my mid 80s and will need some type of assisted care by then but there wont be anyone working as the whole world crumbles. Ugh. At this point Im just trying to live one day at a time given how rapidly things are evolving and will sort it out when the time comes. Im definitely not prepping though, I dont see the point if it is going to be an uninhabitable Earth.
I told my kids years ago, that I would rather suicide if I become unable to care for myself, rather than go into a nursing home. I've been independent all my life and have the horrors of being incapacitated, or a burden for others. My daughter is a doctor, and thought she would help with hospital-grade morphine, but she surprised me and was horrified of me thinking it. Then explained how many of the homes were like fancy 5-star hotels...I laughed and said all the more reason, I don't want to live like that no matter how pretty the surroundings. It's a prison, surrounded by strangers I'm sure I won't be leaving enough money behind to pay for it either!
So looked at the other 2 kids, it's up to you find me enough street heroin or similar OK? Must be a Bikie pub hangout or camp around here somewhere 🙂
But that was before I thought of an end to infrastructure, the grid etc.
Depends on whether I'm physically healthy and mobile enough to still get around. Depends on whether I still have a neighbourhood of other survivors to team up with. I would don a backpack with camping and hiking gear. call the dog(s) and "Walk to the End of the World" and see what there was to see, scavenge and perhaps meet others along the way 🙂
Like The Walking Dead but without the mobs of revolting zombies, or the wandering theatre players in Station Eleven 🙂